Play's the Thing

By Sarah Suatoni, President and
Macdara MacColl, Executive Dirctor
The Tween Scene LLC

Imagination is more important than knowledge. –Albert Einstein

Children need to play.

And their play is wondrous to behold. We have spent the year as Tween Tribe teachers watching our girls use play as their medium to learn, discover, connect and grow.

Some girls prefer the introspective nature of playing through visual arts, while others love to show off through improvisational acting. Some need the physicality of dance and movement to make sense of their inner life, while others relate to words. They love our stories and relish the moment when they get to put their own feelings into words. 

The girls each have a different way of processing the world, but the common denominator is that they learn by using their imaginations. They learn through play.

So while school’s out and the academic learning is on hiatus, we wanted to share some games that will keep learning and insight happening through play. By engaging your daughters with these stories and games, you’ll learn as much about them as they learn about themselves.

Game 1: Mood Art

Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. –Pablo Picasso

Buy your daughter a pad of art paper and a box of chalk pastels.  Invite her to use the pastels to create abstract drawings of her feelings or moods. Elementary-aged children become more and more literal in their art, and begin to judge their art as good or bad based on how realistic it looks.

Mood Art is a chance to break free of that.

Remind your daughter that the abstract artists taught us that we do not need to make a perfect picture in order to make art. Art can be a way of expressing one’s inner life.

Grab some paper and make some drawings with your daughter. Then guess each other’s moods and feelings based on what you’ve made. Once you have done some drawing you might ask your daughter about the last time she felt the feeling she drew. This way you start a conversation about feelings indirectly after they have been engaged through play.  You may find the conversation flows more easily this way.

Game 2: Freeze Trees

Play is the exultation of the possible. –Martin Buber

Here’s a non-competitive way of playing tag: put several Hula Hoops around the yard and have the kids run around. When you shout “freeze,” they have to jump inside one of the hoops, posing as a great tree with roots that go down into the earth.  The roots help them feel solid and strong so they do not fall over.  Slowly remove the rings so that more and more kids are in each ring, finally ending up all in one ring.  They end like a forest of trees: All strong individuals but connected.

Game 4: Emotion Freeze Frame

What we play is life. –Louis Armstrong

Put on music and ask the kids to dance or run around. When the music stops they have to freeze as the emotion you call out, like happy, angry, shy, scared. Invite them to look at one and other to see they shapes other people’s bodies take when they are having the same feeling.  They can take turns being the one to call out the feelings. You can also just stop the music and have them freeze in whatever emotion they choose, then you (or one of the girls) tries to guess each frozen feeling. 

This game affirms that we express our emotions through our bodies. It helps a child interpret others’ emotions and shows them how they are presenting themselves to the world.

Game 5: The Name Game

The world of reality has its limits; the world of imagination is boundless. -Jean-Jacques Rousseau

The characters in our stories have funny archetypal names that capture some of the behaviors common in tween age girls, like: Shenika Shy, Wendy Whiner, Beatrice Bossy, Gabby Way, Grave Maeve, Polly Perfect, Olive Oddball, Jasmina Jokester, Nelly Know-It-All and Suki Space Out. 

The Tween Tribe girls loved these names and quickly identified which girl they were most like. They really enjoyed making up their own names based on themselves or girls they know. Some of the names they invented were: Halley Hyper, Rude Jude, Carrie Can’t, Wanda Wanna-be, Stacey Stubborn.

Even if your daughter isn’t part of Tween Tribe, she’ll catch on quickly to the Name Game. You can ask your daughter what girl she is acting like right now and why. You can tell her what your name might be at this moment.  One of the names Sarah made up for herself was Maya Way (she’s Gabby Way’s mom). 

Once you’ve identified the behavior with a humorous name, you can begin to explore why the behavior is happening. Are you Angelina Anxious for some reason? Is something bothering you? What’s got you being a Cathy Crabby?

This can be a fun, creative way to call attention to behavior and its effect on others without judgment. Humor goes a long way.

We also emphasize that our names can change (Beatrice Bossy becomes Beatrice Bold; Polly Perfect transforms into Polly Possibilities.) We are not our behavior. We may act bossy, whiney, or spacey, but we are more than any one behavior.

So play the Name Game as a way to identify, discuss and play with moods and behaviors.

NOTE: For Tween Tribe families, all our stories are available through the MyTribe area of TweenTribe.com. If you’re daughter is not registered in a Tribe, you can read a selection of our stories by clicking on the website’s Stories tab.

Play is so important to optimal child development that it has been recognized by the United Nations High Commission for Human Rights as a right of every child. –American Academy of Pediatrics

This year, we have been inspired, educated and entertained by the Tween Tribe girls. The girls showed us that they are hungry to learn about feelings and friendships, and that all the most important lessons in life can—maybe even must--be learned through creative play.

Thanks to all the parents who allowed us to spend time with their daughters. We're so excited to be back together in the fall for another amazing year!